Thursday, February 3, 2011

whirlwind of a week and not just outside

It's been a busy week with Steve going in for his gallbladder attack on Tues. night. I'm so glad I was home to take him in to the hospital, I normally am at Ladies' Bible Study that night and God knew I needed to be home when the circumstances were changed that we canceled and decided to just leave it at that. I kept thinking guess we should have met tonight when the bad weather never arrived and Barb ended up being off work, but so thankful God had another plan. 

I knew it was time to go when I said, "Maybe you need to go to the hospital?" to Steve and he went and put on clothes and got ready right away.  He would not go to the hospital for any reason other than it was 100% necessary.  We just had an argument about this very subject a few weeks back about making that decision when you really need to go and when you don't, especially with children.  I'm very cautious when it comes to us as adults, especially with our huge $10,000 deductible.  This was the first year we were starting out with 'zero' in our medical bills from the previous years column so when my eye started hurting a few weeks back and I was told I'd probably need eye surgery I began praying. Everyday that goes by and I didn't hear back from the dr. I took it as, hang in there God is working.  He knows your desire to not have more bills! but after Tues. night and our visit to the ER for the EKG, Chest X-rays, Sonogram, doses of Morpheine and Dialaden, I've come to the realization that He just wants me to trust Him to take care of us financially and not dwell on my 'trying so hard' to not create more bills.  Here we were going in not for me, but for Steve, something that has never happened before.  Other than having his wisdom teeth removed our first yr. of marriage (the beginning of our annual trend to paying off medical bills) he's not had any dr./hospital intervention except for worker's comp. stitches.  I kind of chuckled and Ellen even asked, "Why I was smiling, as I told her we were headed to the hospital!" I wasn't quite sure why at the time, but just had this peace that, see God is in control you aren't! 

So last night I was struggling with this goofy skin tag (extra skin) that had grown under my eyelid again, wondering how in the world this was all going to work out.  Steve has joked about looking up "Eye Surgery for Dummies" on the net and I did ask him to look at it with some tweezers in hand and my strong, manly man said, "Uh no! what if you bleed to death!".  So I've just been praying it would fall off and of course I did some research on the net! see just can't get that saying "When men work, men work and when men pray, God works" from my head to my heart! So I read that sometimes you can remove these type of things by putting apple cider vinegar on them.  Ellen was like, "Mom you arent' going to put an acid in your eye are you?" I said , "Maybe!".  So I tried putting a drop on a Q-tip and doing it, it stung like the dickens, but I did it a few nights and last night when it was really irritating I did it once more.  This a.m. when I woke up to blood all over my face I was excited that this might be the means God would use to remove it. Now it's not gone, I can feel it in the corner of my eyelid, but I'm thankful that at least part is gone and I can call the dr. and check into another if I'm led to.  See I have to analyze everything to death, a very big fault of mine, "wonder if??? what if???" and most of the time I just need to pray about it and leave it at the Saviours feet and let Him carry the burden, "Cast all your cares on Him, BECAUSE He cares for you!".  So I've not arrived at that faith yet, I'm thankful that "He's still working on me" and have the hope that I'll glorify Him one day without even thinking of it, it'll just be a natural part of my being, probably not in this life I realize, but hey we are one day closer to eternity.

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